Men Have An Obligation...

*I wrote this as a Facebook Note and wanted to integrate those previous posts into my blog. So, if this seems familiar, that is why.*

    Honor, dignity, helpfulness, chivalry. But first, a quick and true story to get the ball rolling.  Maybe two months ago I was taken aback by an event that some of you may have read on my Facebook status. I was on my way to work and stopped for a drink at a gas station near my house, just like any other day. There was a woman walking from the gas pumps to the store, probably about twenty steps behind me. When I arrived at the door, I waited for a few seconds and looked back at her before holding it open and allowing her to enter the store before I did. When I stepped inside, she was somewhat staring at me as if she had something to say; and she did.  "I bet you pull chairs for women too, don't you?" My reply: "Yes, ma'am. I do." She followed with "If I didn't have a husband, I would marry you today."  Now, the funny thing is that I do have quite a bit of self confidence, but being vain is a foreign concept to me; however, this particular woman would not have been on my radar for a few reasons, the largest of which is age. I was just doing what I consider proper.

     Sure, a woman can open her own doors and I know the majority are perfectly capable of doing so. I am also well aware that a small fraction of women prefer you not do such things, as they find it offensive and as a sign of dominance. The latter idea, however, has nothing to do with the reason I keep my chivalrous nature, as I have no personal sense of brutish empowerment by doing so. The reason I hold even women I do not know in such high regard and enjoy doing little things for them is simple. Without them, none of us would even be here, now would we?  

     Believe it or not, over the course of many decades of men slacking and failing to appreciate the opposite sex, women have come to no longer expect chivalrous actions from us.  What was wrong with doing so? Why did it stop? Point blank: Men are pretty rude. Now, I could go into a long tirade about my gender and point my finger in my own face about certain aspects and behaviors of the modern man, but I would rather focus on where we are right now. As with anything relating to social activities, some habits and expectations just die off slowly over a period of time, some with good reason, while others should have lasted.

     Realistically, finding a man who will do something as simple as holding a door for a woman really is not that hard a task, you just have to meet the criteria of being "worthy" of their attention.  If you are really good looking, super old, dressed provocatively, or in the early stages of dating, you are more likely to have a man hold a door for you. Well, that is just so sweet. Those men feel motivated to show a chivalrous lie in the hopes of making themselves look good or getting something in return.  If you were to put an average looking or middle aged woman in the same scenario, most of those same men would have no motivation to show their "respect" in that way.  Being selective with an act that should be genuine and unbiased?  That is not something I want to be a part of.

      I know few men who will hold a door for any woman, regardless of age, appearance, race, weight, or whatever defining characteristic you can think of.  I know far less who will open and close a car door for a woman (every time). We can go farther and say that I know barely any men who find it proper anymore to have a woman walk ahead of him in public unless he is leading the way specifically. (Side by side, or her one stride ahead of you, fellas. If your great grandfather saw you walking ahead of a woman without reason, he would punch you in the mouth.) 

      What about me?  I am not boasting of myself or trying to inflate my ego, but I can honestly say I implement all of those acts in my daily life. Why, you ask? My simple answer is because I think it is the proper thing to do. Chivalry is a very old concept that has been lost over time, and very few care to bring it back. Doing so, for me, has nothing to do with thinking males are the superior gender, but it has everything to do with showing honor and appreciation to women.  Maybe one day I'll have the chance to lay my coat over a puddle and not think twice about doing so...(If you don't understand that reference, I'm afraid it is far too late for you.)

Grace and Peace,
     -Drew

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