I Just Say I Wrote It For Your Girlfriends, Kelsey Grammar...

I find myself stuck in this stupid corner that only I will ever understand.  Part of me is all about writing my blogs with the formal prose of not using contractions simply because that is how I was taught, yet another part of me is saying I should probably get real and write in a way that is similar to how I speak.  Doing this would be a tough habit to break;  not unlike saying "Drew, you must write an entire blog without using a single comma...".  No.  Are you trying to kill me?  Taking away my punctuation privileges would do the trick.

   I am the first to admit that I do make errors concerning grammar (if you look hard enough, you may find some in this very post), but there is a big difference between an oversight and posting something for the world to see that is riddled with errors simply because proof reading seemed unnecessary.  When we make online comments on the posts of other people or make posts of our own, we are giving access of this information to everyone on our friends list and more creepy people on Google than we are probably aware.  The prose and vernacular we use can be visible to nearly anyone if we are looked up in one form or another.  Case in point...

We are either talking about an Arab Women's Fashion magazine or an underground rapper named "Pashion".  If you are not particularly proficient at spelling, that is fine;  the person above simply needed to proof read.  Just like:

Proof...read.  I jumped in on this one because it was just too good/funny to stay away.  This person is on my friends list.  I blacked out your name.  Fair?

And most of them hail from Hispanic countries.  Yes sir...

YouTube taught me this:

I just...No.  NO.

This popped up on my Newsfeed one day...

Because I "Liked"  Drake's page, I get all sorts of random, incoherent blasts such as this on my Newsfeed now.  I know this person is attempting to quote lyrics from a song, but understanding where your punctuation should go is part of any eighth-grade education.

This entire shirt is wrong:

If wine is a hug in a glass, that would make it a verb.

Considering all of this, the shirt actually makes no sense as either part of speech.

I know, I know.  "It's supposed to be funny, Drew! Gah!"  

I understand the message, and I really like wine; I just do not drink it anymore and the shirt is still wrong.

Straying a bit, but still within the same realm, we cannot forget those who enjoy over-sharing:

Until the day I read this, I had not ever considered the fact that a baby's bellybutton falls off.  I understand why, and it makes perfect sense, but reading that on Facebook, first thing in the morning?

Nasty.  Ew.  When your kid is a teenager, I am sure he will appreciate this.

Back to YouTube:

This is the chorus to the song in question:  

"Don't listen to a word I say.  The screams all sound the same.  Though the truth my  vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore."

Nothing makes me happier than hearing about what will become of my dead body.  Just because the song has a snappy trumpet and fast-paced chorus, does not mean it cannot be morbid.

I did all of this to be funny.  Actually, all of these screencaps have been collected by me over the span of nearly two years and I was not sure of what to do with them, so I put them in a blog.  I have more, many more.  You must realize (and you can ask my family and friends as proof) that I am the guy who always uses punctuation and capitalization in my text messages.  I even proof read my text messages before I send them, and am therefore slightly insane and find this sort of thing funny.  Maybe you did as well.

Grace and Peace,

    -Drew

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drew.silvers

YouTube:  http://www.youtube.com/drewcoustic

Email:  drewcoustic@gmail.com

The title of this blog came from the lyrics in this song: