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Monday, June 10, 2013

Let's Do Something That We Shouldn't Do...

Here is a warning for everyone...
I make no apologies, as these are my opinions and if you disagree with them, practice them, or actively support any of the following I do not judge you.  However, at this point I am fully admitting that I also do not understand you or the things you may or may not do.  
Take humor, not offense, as these are things I personally do not understand.

People who drive in the rain with their hazard lights flashing:
I was driving down the highway last week, yes, the highway, GA400, just outside of Buckhead, specifically in the middle of a downpour.  The sky was dark, traffic that is usually traveling at least 60mph had slowed down to about 40mph.  Lo and behold, the car driven by a person hunched over the steering wheel, squinting, nervous, driving about 25mph, without their headlights on, but the hazard lights flashing, and in the left lane...
Where do people learn this concept?  Do flashing lights make you more visible?  In dry conditions, yes.  In a downpour, clear liquid falls from the sky and flashing light refracts through it.  My vision is stronger than average and I can see much better than most people I know, but the glare of flashing lights in the rain hurts my eyes and draws focus from the road.  Flashing lights divert attention.  If you are incapable of driving in the rain, the simple solution is not to do so.  
Use your hazard lights when broken down on the side of the road, or when part of a funeral procession in broad daylight.  Period.

Floor Mats To Protect Your Floor Mats:
Let me give you a little history lesson.  Up until the 1960's most cars of the same model were fairly identical in every aspect other than color.  Carpets were reserved for upscale cars like Cadillacs and Lincolns, while the Fords and Chevrolets came with a big, vinyl mat in the floor.  Most "base" trim levels on American cars actually had the same vinyl floor covering until the later part of the 1970's.  The Mustang was really the first, optioned, "Build It As You Want It" car when it came out in 1964 and set the grounds for options as a standard practice across the board.  The people who bought Cadillacs and Lincolns had money and their cars had lush carpets in the floor.  The more standard vehicles had a vinyl-loop type carpet with a heel pad sewn into it just below the brake and accelerator pedals to minimize wear.  
See?  My 1966 Mustang has it:
The people who bought average cars in this era were concerned about resale value and wanted to protect their carpets from unnecessary wear, so dealerships heard this news and created floor mats you could buy at a premium price.  This caught on across the industry and soon floor mats were available from every car manufacturer, even the luxury brands.  Then people started restoring cars...

You see, when carpeted floor mats and rubber weather mats first hit the scene, people used them as a way to protect their carpets for the purpose of resale value.  When you were ready to sell the car, you took out the ratty mats and still had nice carpet underneath.  In the 1980's, people started restoring the cars of the 1960's era and created a new market for "original" used parts.  Since floor mats were a disposable item, finding them in good shape was rare, and therefore fetched a high price on the used parts market.  Somewhere along the lines, this translated into people not wanting to use their current floor mats for the purpose they were designed...

You can now buy carpet floor mats or rubber weather mats for your car, as a dealer option.  That makes sense, because protecting your carpet is a good idea, right?  But now there are companies who make floor mats for the sole purpose of (wait for it) protecting your floor mats...
Let us go backward a bit:  You have a floor mat to protect your weather mat, which protects your other floor mat, which then protects your heel mat, which protects your carpet.  Right.
Like I said, carpet floor mats make sense, and so do weather mats, but putting three levels of dirt protection on the floor of your Kia Optima will not improve the resale value one bit.
Use your floor mats as intended, please.

Designer Batteries
There are regular batteries...
These are for gaming...
These are for hillbillies...
Why?  A pack of cheap batteries is a pack of cheap batteries.  I guarantee no hunter has ever had his flashlight die in the woods and then open it up to say "If I had bought the camouflage batteries, this never would have happened!"

Buying Flat-Pack Furniture:
Simply put, if you buy a piece of furniture and it comes with it's own "tools" for assembly, do not wonder why it broke when the movers picked it up two years later.
If you see this on display:
And the package it comes in looks like this:
You had better be a college student or someone on a short-term work visa in a different country, because these "pieces" were not designed for longevity.  I get asked about fixing cheap "flat-pack" furniture constantly.  When it breaks, it is not worth fixing.  If you are investing in some furniture for your first home and cannot afford brand new, real wood furniture, do not go to IKEA, go to a few yard sales, flea markets, or swap meets.  With a little cleaning, painting, or stain, you can do a very nice restoration on good furniture that will last longer than your lifetime and cost about the same as the flat-pack junk.
If you are a college student living in a dorm or sharing an apartment, buy the cheap stuff and throw it in the dumpster after four years.  Purpose served.

Why People Still Eat Chicken Nuggets:
You may not eat them after you read this.  I am not going to post a picture because I do not eat them and we all know what they actually look like.  They all contain similar ingredients, but this is what a Chicken McNugget from McDonalds is composed of:
Chicken, water, salt, sodium phosphates. Battered and breaded with bleached wheat flour, water, wheat flour, modified food starch, salt, spices, wheat gluten, paprika, dextrose (sugar), yeast, garlic powder, rosemary, partially hydrogenated soybean oil and cottonseed oil with mono- and diglycerides, leavening (sodium acid pyrophosphate, baking soda, ammonium bicarbonate, monocalcium phosphate), natural flavor (plant source) with extractives of paprika. Fried in vegetable oil (Canola oil, corn oil, soybean oil, hydrogenated soybean oil with TBHQ and citric acid). Dimethylpolysiloxane is added as an antifoaming agent.
Thirty-seven ingredients.  No.  Just, no.  That cannot be food.

White Guys Who Wear Flat-Bill Hats
Some things work when you cross them into different culture groups, and some do not.  From what I have figured out, the flat-bill hat look started in Oakland during the crack cocaine epidemic as a form of identification for drug dealers.  This could be wrong, but I am going with it because I read it in a magazine article from that period.  For some reason, twenty years later, hoards of suburban white guys are now adopting this style, and it does not work.  White guys with an excuse to wear a hat like this only include those under the age of fifteen, because they still have some brain development left to go.  Any of those above that age?  
You look like this:
Women wear lipstick.  Women can look very nice when they wear lipstick.  I am physically capable of wearing lipstick as well, but I do not because doing so would look very, very wrong.
Think it over.

Grace and Peace,

The lyrics from the title of this blog are from this song:



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