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Wednesday, February 19, 2014

I had the word "dreamer" as a descriptor of myself in my social media profiles for a few months, but removed it recently because I actually sat back for a bit and thought about what that meant.  The conclusion I came to was that the word had no business existing as an adjective making reference to any part of who I am.  However, I have been a dreamer before - and it was awful.

Along with thinking in the terms of being a dreamer, we also think along the lines of having a solid expectation.  Dreaming is a product of a far-fetched reality and the feasibility of accomplishing a dream is extremely unrealistic.  Dreams are generally unobtainable thoughts, but attempts to make an actual accomplishment for yourself or someone else does not fall into the same category because these are called "goals".  

"Dreamer" sound so much more majestic and empowering than "goal seeker".
What are you looking to do with your life?
Adopt a title or reach an accomplishment?

When I was dreaming about my direction I kept hitting these walls because the things I was chasing after were largely unfeasible.  Talking about dreams as if they were actually goals made me stick my foot into my own mouth far too many times because following through has nothing to do with having a dream.  Dreams are by chance, but planting and harvesting an accomplishment?
That is a goal.

Over the past few years, I have made major changes in my life which I never thought I would - some by circumstance and some by my own decision.  During my era of dreaming I had a job I never thought I would lose, friends I thought would never betray me, and a vise I never wanted to shake.  Everything changed because I lived in a world of idealism and dreaming, when the reality was so much more painful and entirely unnecessary.  

If you had walked up to me three years ago and said I would not be drinking at all by the year 2012, I would have called you crazy.  Here we are in 2014 and a drop of alcohol has not touched my tongue in over fifteen months and probably never will again.  The thing is, I never was arrested, involved in fights,  driving drunk, and actually rarely drank at bars, but this stupid dependency was how I coped with my dreaming.  The obviously unobtainable lines of what I considered to be my ideal life were blurred into looking realistic because of my vise.  This is where the dreams were separated from the goals and when I finally woke up, I realized goals were something I never had.

I had no plans to ever alter my lifestyle and assumed the income I was earning a few years ago would be the minimum of my future.  At that moment I also thought I would always be growing into something bigger and better, climbing that corporate ladder while never looking back.  Within all of this I had convinced myself that being real was the same as dreaming and was certain that goals and dreams were intimately bound to each other. 
No, I was wrong.

We talk too much.  We all talk too much.
We talk about where we are going, we talk about "plans", and we talk about our futures while working so hard to predict said future.  The fact of the matter, and in the end, all that matters is that we need to escape the world of the dreamer and embrace what it means to be realistic with our expectations.  This is not to say we should settle for anything, because that is just as dangerous.  Setting goals and dealing with the hand we are dealt in life while making the best of our situation is better than making empty promises to ourselves.  Talking about the direction of our lives is great, as long as we are doing more than just talking.  Action and dedication without distraction while reaching for your goals instead of your dreams is the only way to reach success.
Success is factored in individual impact, not money.

Goals are designed to compound into bigger goals, so keep them close and stay devoted.

I dreamed for too many years but finally left my own self-inflicted fog and have begun setting goals instead.

Do I have money?
Not really, but I am happier now than I was when I had a big bank account.
Am I successful?
In my own mind, yes.
Have I reached all of my goals?
Each accomplished goal spawns a new and bigger one, so I hope I never do.
Am I happy?
The happiest I have been in twenty-eight years.

Life without a struggle means you are doing something wrong.  If you are breathing and cannot think of a single, current instance of needing to overcome an obstacle, I suggest you find one.

Life is nothing without goals.
Stop talking.
Stop dreaming.
Start living.
Accomplish life instead.

Grace and Peace,

 -Add me.  Stalk me.  Tweet me.  I really don't mind.-
Twitter:  @JDrewSilvers