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Friday, April 26, 2013

No Longer Being In The Good Graces Of Women

This blog will most likely not consist of anything you have a preconceived notion of thinking after reading the title.  I will, however, warn you that two of the pictures to follow are somewhat graphic in nature;  you have been warned.  

Sometimes life events can drastically alter the way we think about things, but more often than something that severe, the off-kilter happenings tend to alter our mood.  In general I am a fairly happy person, but sometimes I have little things going on that change my mood and make me say things I otherwise would not.  I speak of nothing severe, and I am not one to lash out in most cases, but the past two weeks have been a bit different.  After many days of pondering whether or not I should make a blog about this, I decided to take the plunge.  Not being entirely certain of this idea, but in order to keep things viable in case I did feel the need to publicize it, I have taken pictures along the way.  This gets a little deeper than the last few, so hold on a bit tightly.

We have this stuff in the world that floats around in the air from plants wanting to reproduce, and we call it pollen.  If you have read any of my other posts, you know I sometimes get allergies.  
Maybe you cannot see it clearly, but check out the Thunderbird's nice coating of the yellow stuff:

This season, allergies bothered me and caused a flare up for about three days when the pollen first arrived, but since then, I have not had a single symptom.  Sometimes my body just works that way and I can go an entire spring without any problem, but the following spring could land me in misery;  this is just how it has been for me the past few years.  All was good and well until three weeks ago.

One morning, about three weeks ago, I stood up from my bed after waking for the day and nearly blacked out.  My vision went blank momentarily and I had to sit down while my head took time to stop spinning.  I thought nothing of what had happened until I crouched down later on in the day and stood up, only to have the same thing happen again.  What you do not know is that I also have Anemia.  I am supposed to take an iron supplement daily, but I had run out of the pills and skipped them for a few weeks, and therefore assumed this was the issue.  A week later, after getting back on track with my iron supplement, nothing had changed and I felt as if things were getting worse; they were.
*Graphic Photos To Follow*

An entire week of being dizzy and such while standing up had passed by and I had not seen a doctor or told anyone other than a select few people.  Then I woke up one morning and tasted blood in my mouth.  Sometime overnight, my nose had started bleeding and ended up in my mouth;  I had blood all over my lips and everything.  Nose bleeds have always been very rare for me, and I did not connect it to my current dizzy situation until it began happening everyday and sometimes multiple times in a day.  This started two weeks ago and is still going.  Earlier in the week, I sent my friend in Seattle a picture of my bloodfest and she responded with this:

Yes, she is still mad that I have not had this thing looked at.  What pictures did I send her?  Well, here are two:
I keep baby wipes in my house at all times for nose blowing or whatever, so that is what this is.  And no, it is not a "section" of a baby wipe, this is the entire thing, from corner to corner.  That is a lot of blood, and it was still coming out at this point.
To show a little more realism without explaining how it happened exactly, here is some more on my thumb.  
When the bleeding finally stops, it is usually a darker red, like this.  

This happens daily, sometimes twice.  Why?  I do not know.  Is it tied to my dizzy-blackout spells?  Again, I do not know.  But what I do know is I told my sister about all of this during a phone call last night and the following is a part of the wonderful text message conversation that followed.  (The one I cut out *whoops* said "Go to the doctor!"):
Now I have angered two women who apparently care about me because I will not go to the doctor.  That, my friends is how you can fall out of favor.  Whatever health thing is happening must be why my mood has been sort of up and down lately.  I feel perfectly fine other than the dizzy-standing-nose-pouring-blood all the time nonsense, but I think it has been altering my demeanor and the way I react to people.

Now, you are probably wondering: "When are you going to the doctor?".  Other than the moments of my friend, sister, and mother telling me I probably should, it had not crossed my mind again until I started typing this blog.  I have recently lost over sixty pounds, so I do have a care and concern for my physical state in some ways, but when it comes to the potential of a major problem, I do not seem to care as much, and never really have.  I am not afraid of doctors by any means; actually, my PCP is a really good-looking, young woman, is fun to talk to, and is passionate about her job.  So, I like her quite a bit, but I just do not want to know if I have a problem or if this is some silly little happening that does not matter.  All I know is that I am still getting dizzy and my nose is still bleeding and this is not allergies and I do not feel sick.  For some reason I am okay with that.  Am I somehow romanticizing the unknown?  I have no idea.  But what I have right now are two angry women and a mom telling me to go to the doctor to figure out something I am just as content not knowing.  What I do know is that I will not allow any of this weird bloody and dizzy mess to have an effect on my mood and the stupid things that have been coming out of my mouth as of late anymore.  All of that is too tiring for me.  Excuse me while I sneeze...crap.

Grace and Peace,



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