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Sunday, April 21, 2013

And Then There Was Death...

    In light of the recent events in Boston and realizing just how short life is, I wanted to post this "Note" I wrote on my Facebook page back in December as a blog here so it could be read on a different platform.  The timing seems appropriate as we all have no idea when the end could be for us.  A bomber or mass murderer could approach us in any situation, permanently changing our own lives and the lives of those we love.  Less dramatically, we could be taken away because of someone else's honest mistake, or simply die for any number of reasons.  Hold those you love close.  We are in dangerous and very unstable times...

Monday, December 10th, 2012

    Everyday we are given a big blessing when we wake up... Yeah, that is all... If you wake up, it is a blessing. What would have happened if you did not have the opportunity to wake up? Well, we do not really know, now, do we? (If I would stop answering my own questions with other questions I fabricated, these things would be easier to follow, wouldn't they? Ha, get it? Crap...) The important thing to realize daily, when you wake up, is that you are not guaranteed to wake up again tomorrow. For what it is worth, you are not guaranteed anything because you could somehow fall over dead even before you roll out of bed. So, to recap: You are guaranteed no time frame of life, and you only have one chance at making it count. Life looks a little more scary when you put it that way.
     Take a glance at me, for example. Before I continue, do not take any part of what I am about to say the wrong way or read into it incorrectly, especially the next sentence. As a child, I somehow arrived at a conclusion that I would not make it to thirty years old. Why? I really could not tell you, but the thought has been in the back of my mind since then. I look back at some of the things I have done in my life and I can make a little more sense of that idea. Nothing I have done has been with the expectation of fulfilling a death wish, but I have done more stupid or dangerous things than most other people I know. I have cheated death in ways only very few people know, either because they were participating or with me at the time (For the record, we're not talking about drugs; I have never had anything to do with them). Some things were intentional, some were not; most happened before I was twenty five years old. I have done a few things that have made my own mother cringe to the point of nearly having a heart attack, whether it happened in front of her, or was a prior even I told her about. It happens that way for me. Jumping out of an airplane with approved safety gear and little chance of error is one thing, cheating death is entirely different. There is a reason I mentioned all of this. Hold on.
     Just as I alluded to before, life is a very, very small drop in the bucket of eternity. I have had many people I know in my life pass away, a few unexpectedly, a few in which I was well aware of what was to come. For me, the turning point was watching someone very close to me die unexpectedly who was also close to me in age. Throwing on a facade of strength was what everyone else saw, but in the farther ends of my brain, something about that experience bothered me for a very long time. My world became somewhat murky for a few years, whether anyone else could see it or not. I was not mad at the nature of the world, I definitely was not mad at God for letting that happen, but something changed in me and I never realized what it was. I stopped caring about many things and even many people. This lasted for a few years. That was until the day I realized the only thing you can do in those situations is to move forward and be sure to tell people their value to you.
     You see, we complicate things. Work is always complicated, the way we project ourselves to others is complicated, dating is complicated, your own opinions are complicated. Maybe we should just take a step back and put all of that complication out of our heads for a while. Maybe we should focus on the people who matter in our lives and tell them how much we love and appreciate them. Hey, maybe I am just an idiot who lives in some strange bubble world. I can tell you this though: the more expressive in appreciation I have become to the people who matter to me, the better I feel on a daily basis. I just wish I had put more thought into doing so before I lost those I did forever. I would not recommend taking my initial approach.  At least I know that if something happened and I did not make it through another day, I would be content with where I am.

Grace and Peace,



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