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Sunday, July 21, 2013

The Difference Between A Boy And A Gentleman...

Why play video games when you build things with you own, two hands?

I am going to give you an example of a struggle we are dealing with as Millennials which is all too real and far too common.  None of us should be subjected to any of this, but we are nearly all guilty in one way or another.  My generation is not what we were envisioned to be in many ways and I see quite a fault looming in a downward spiral and all in the name of "progress".  Men, you have stopped listening.  What?

"Oh my God, he's going after guys again..."  Yes, I am because I am one, but if I were a woman there would surely be a similar blog to write concerning the failures of women.  I cannot write about many negative aspects of current-day women because I do not possess the attributes of being a woman;  just as I cannot write about parenting due to my lack of children.  What do I mean?  The day and time of the "gentleman" has left us all for the most part and us men are too terribly blinded to even notice.  Men like the word and nearly every man believes they fit the mold of that very definition;  but few do.

Has anyone ever taught you the truth of what being a gentleman is?  Could you ask any man you pass in public for their definition of the word and get an accurate response?
Gentleman - A chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man. source
Within the eyes of the majority (facts? I see it everyday; majority.) of my millennial brethren, a gentleman is a man who does something pleasant for a woman.  The issue here lies in the motivation for doing so, as being "pleasant" is only a small fraction of the definition.  Men are more likely to tip a restaurant server a higher amount if she is good-looking, are more likely to hold a door open for the same reason, are more likely to buy a drink, more likely to play the role of a good friend with an underlying motive, so forth and so-on.  The problem is, none of this has anything to do with the core of the duty of being a true gentleman;  this screams "pretentious scum" or "completely misguided" to me.

What are we doing?  There are so many of us men entirely caught up in the lie of what is expected of us by the rest of our peers.  Sure, this has existed in the past generations;  I understand that entirely, but we were pushed to do better than those before us, not chase down their prior faults.  There must be a line drawn somewhere between being a boy and being a man, but all I can see is a thick fog over where that line begins. 

The years are catching up to me now and I am seeing the same, continual issues exacerbate as those younger than me get to a more "mature" age, while keeping a juvenile mindset.  I can safely say that most of the men (married or unmarried) I knew when I was eighteen have grown ten years in age and maybe earned a college degree, but still have the mindset of a teenager and I do not know why.  None of this is saying that I am against having fun by any means, but I know the majority of those from my dad's generation were not logging compounded weekly hours playing video games or eating junk food while watching every single NFL/NBA/NHL game during the season when they were my age.  Sure, the technology did not exist back then, but I do believe they were better for it.  Back in the generation of our parents it really seems as if people communicated more clearly, or if you did not want to communicate, disappearing for a few hours or days did not make anyone very worried.  Men appreciated women a little bit more overall in the past, modern generations, because with less distractions comes more time to pay attention to each other; specifically to women.

There has never been a perfect generation and I know that, but it seems as though we are getting weaker and weaker by the decade.  Many years ago, there was a gender split between women doing housework and men having an outside job.  Eventually we started growing a bit more together as far as household responsibilities and being in the workforce are concerned, but we have created other boundaries in the process.  There are exceptions to every rule, but in general we have created more and more prominence of men doing "men things" like pushing buttons and staring at a screen (yeah, I don't get it) for extended periods of time or watching hours of other grown men grabbing on each other every weekend for sport (on the same screen as mentioned before).  Where has the time gone where men appreciated women and were allowed to sit in the same room with them, with just each other, talking about their day, frustrations, joys, and plans for the future?  I want to get back to that and live in a place where men are not selective about how they treat women based on anything other than having a general respect for them.  Ideally, I want to be in a place where relationships do not have defined lines of separation so readily as we do now.  I want men and women to be one in the same with each other because mutual respect goes a long way.

A man?  I am one, so I am putting this whole thing on men.  Women could very well have similar issues, but I cannot talk about them, as I said before;  doing so would not be fair and undoubtedly be received poorly.  Leaving you with this is all I can do...

Go out of your way for all women who have done you no wrong.  Regardless of age or appearance.

Act appropriately towards women and do not even use slurs about them in private.

Have decency and show respect.  Do good for nothing in return.

Stop being a boy.
Stop trying to be "a man".
Learn what it means to truly be a gentleman...

Grace and Peace,

-Add me.  Stalk me.  I really don't mind.-
Twitter:  @JDrewSilvers

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