as an example of an honest, supportive friendship.
A false sense of assurance is something we have all experienced because, though we often make the choice to not believe it, having complete trust in anyone requires extensive work and commitment.
Where does this come from and when did trust become so hard to come by?
Concerning most actions and reactions in life, we are continually trapped in a downward spiral and this practice is no exception to the trend.
When we were children, we were taught to always be honest with people, never allow lies to surface for any reason, and allow others to have trust in us. With time and age, we have all but lost this important character trait and realized by our teenage years that seemingly the only way to progress in life is to stretch the truth a bit here and there or at least distance ourselves from it.
Why would I be so ignorant to believe having a trusting character was the standard?
It is not.
Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion that putting trust into or having confidence in anyone takes more time than a few months, or even a few years. Connections are important to any human bond, but we must be guarded enough to realize the majority of people in the world (often including ourselves) cannot be trusted.
When we hear of solid excuses for dishonesty, the basic understanding automatically falls to one of two situations (with general consideration):
-Holding the business logic of "What they don't know won't hurt them.". Within this standard, you tell your potential human profit-makers anything necessary to close a deal or create a bond. This often means creating a false impression of one's personality, interests, or skills. Have you ever seen an embellished resume or someone who claims professional attributes they do not possess in real-time? My point exactly - but it was a building process developed over centuries of dishonesty which has become a more accepted practice as time goes on.
-Holding the idea that we can lie as a way of sparing other's feelings or to hide something we are doing, will do, have done in the past, or hold an opinion of regarding a subject. This means the notion of "sparing feelings" or emotions for the sake of personal benefit or as a method of "protecting" someone else is just unnecessary. Allowing someone to believe a false idea does not help them because by doing this, we allow our trust to be entirely breached. I would rather someone tell me the truth about everything than leave out details which lead me to believe a false idea. There is no reason to tell people every detail of you life unless you just want to, but have enough respect for yourself and them that they do not take the false idea as truth.
"If that's how he/she interprets what I said, it wasn't a lie."
Yes, it was. By thinking such a thing, we have acknowledged the lie.
Congratulations.
Far too many of us spend far too much time attempting to cover our tracks on a daily basis and I cannot wrap my brain around why we have developed into such a process being the rule and honesty being the exception. Every day, the majority of our population makes solid attempts to act like anyone other than who they really are or put other people in terrible situations for the sake of their own perceived happiness, but why?
Should we all be positive all the time?
No.
Those people who seem to act in such a way are often the more prominent of being less trustworthy and honest. That probably sounds crazy, but hear me out. Humans were given just as much processing ability for one emotion as any other and sometimes we need to express frustrations, anger and resentment in the same way we express happiness, joy, and positivity - this is called being mentally healthy. By only allowing ourselves to use one set of emotions, we have to ask what happened to the others. Emotions do not leave, but they can be suppressed and give a false identity to the person expressing them. My thoughts on this can be flipped the other way as well by using the example of someone who seems to always be bitter and angry without expressing more positive thoughts.
Life and our own emotions, honesty, and relationships live in a balance and I will not complicate any of that buy throwing any religious or universal acceptance theory into the mix, because that makes the whole process complicated for no reason.
Keeping it simple:
-We need honesty towards each other.
-We need a balance of our personalities.
-We need to be our own person.
-We need to invest in others while keeping our guard up.
-We must realize perfection is not possible.
Life would be much more simple if we would just keep honesty as a priority and keep from making exceptions.
Life would be much more enjoyable if we did not go into any situation with an expectation but identified our potential paths while leaving the toxic people and situations far behind us.
I have seen too many people become hurt by the false impressions expressed to them by the people they thought could be trusted the most and it both sickens and infuriates me.
To those who cannot seem to show themselves in honesty, hurting others in the process, I say this:
Stop.
Making.
Life.
Complicated.
Grace and Peace,
-Drew
-Add me. Stalk me. Tweet me. I really don't mind.-
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