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Sunday, November 10, 2013

Passive Loyalty Is An Oxymoron...


Have you ever taken a step back in times of stress to explore a little personal evaluation?
What I mean by this is not concerning yourself within your own mind, but those we cling to when we we have these instances of stress, panic, or need for guidance.

There is a trend within our generation of hitting a wall and then trying everything we can to escape the hindrance, but looking for it in the entirely wrong place.  Socially, we are always looking for something new and more appealing in our lives for the most part and I commonly hear it mentioned as "new and interesting", which works fine on the social scale as long as we do keep this social and outside of a well-developed and personal aspect.  

I will explain.

I have spent time lingering at the bottom of not knowing where to go within my life in many instances such as:
A personal faith struggle.
A crumbled career path.
Alcohol abuse.
(To name the big ones.)
Even though I spent so much time researching and writing papers on psychology and knowing that it was not the best for me, I would still have a tendency to stray from those who could help me through my issues the best - I have not a clue why, but this seems to be common.  

I have my close friends and my family, which I have mentioned before as being very small in number, but very big in purpose;  and there are others who are more of acquaintances which serve a more social, less involved purpose.  I had to take a minute to pause myself at one point when I realized just how much my priorities had been slipping in my support system.  The people who could impact me the most and had stuck by me through everything in life were the ones I was treating more passively while trying to lean on the support and ideas of those who were nowhere near as involved or committed to my life.  

Gathering new ideas and thought processes is a great thing, but what I figured out in the long run is that the more common denominators in my life which made all the difference to me were just that - common.  After a while of leaning on the wrong people or jumping outside of my circle for the type of un-involved, "feel-good" support as opposed to those who had my back unconditionally, I realized my fault.  Passive personal investments hold no ground when you have an arsenal of completely personal and fully invested people backing you up in any situation.  Yet, these people are also easily overlooked because they are sort of expected to be around, or to use the word from a few lines up: "common".  

What happens when you look for something you are in need of in the wrong places?
What if you step away from those who have a keen interest in every part of your being and can offer you more than anyone else?

Sometimes they leave.
Sometimes their departure is justified.

I spent a long time trying to rationalize a certain instance of when I ignored the best of what was in front of me and instead went astray to seek help in the passively invested thoughts of others.
The answers were sitting in front of me, but I spent so long expecting the support to always be there, that I took advantage one of the rare people who was patiently waiting to share the frustrations, anger, and fight for me. 
I never asked.
I should have asked.

What I am saying in all of this is that when a struggle arises, before you decide to seek out anyone who is invested in you trivially or passively, open you eyes to what is standing right in front of you.

We could all use a little clarity.

Do not waste an opportunity.
Never be afraid to ask.
Always appreciate those who have had unabridged loyalty to you.

Grace and Peace,
-Drew

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