A Short And Simple Friday...

The following is not a criticism, nor a judgment, but facts which we have had the unfortunate experience of allowing ourselves to fall into.  Maybe I think a little too much, or maybe my values are skewed in general, but you can take any of this or leave it by the wayside as your own choice and opinion - this is up to you.  

We live in a crazy era of high expectations, but low frequencies of execution.  What I mean by this is the same thing I have been saying for months, which I speak about clearly because I was a part of this backwards progression for far too many years and am still far from perfect.  As not only a generation, but as a people, we have lost a bit of the push, as well as most of the edge those before us spent so much time trying to instill in our minds with values.  

Sure, everyone wants to be smart and educated, but we sell ourselves short and instead of trying to educate ourselves to the point of actual intelligence, we fail.
How so?

-By stringing together supposedly enlightening sentences compounded with large words and seemingly extensive vocabulary while lacking any real meaning behind the prose.

-By making half-hearted attempts of being creative just so we obtain the social approval of others.

-By continually clinging to one side of any story without first doing any research before forming a well-rounded opinion.

-By arguing and pushing issues after being made well aware of how wrong we are.

-By allowing gender bias to have an effect on the way we perceive the same or the opposite sex.

-By claiming devotion to people, passions, or religion, while allowing ourselves to push any of those things to the side for any reason which seems better in the moment.

There are so many people in this generation who say 

"Live while you're young and worry about work when you're older."

What do I say?

Life is a job which requires continual work, unrivaled devotion, and a never-ending pursuit to leave something meaningful behind you while having both feet firmly planted on a solid foundation.

Is life easy?  No way, it was never intended to happen easily.

As I have said before, if you do not have real struggle in your life, ask yourself "why" and find one.

If your struggle is real, do whatever you can to conquer it and move onto the next one.

We all fall at some point - but the only person who can pick you back up is yourself.

Never slip.  Not once.

Always tell people they are beautiful.

Grace and Peace,
-Drew

 -Add me.  Stalk me.  Tweet me.  I really don't mind.-
Personal Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drew.silvers
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Email:  drewcoustic@gmail.com
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This Is Why I Am Single: Part Two

This came from the Instagram of a local radio personality.

My fourth most popular blog, as evidenced from my home page is titled:
"This Is Why I Am Single" 
and is something I wrote when questioned about why I am at this age and not married, or whatever.  While I spent a great deal of time writing that blog, I have been thinking things over for a few days and realized I am missing a few bits to that puzzle.  

A few nights ago, I went to my favorite restaurant and one of the hostesses I had not seen in a while was there.  She is a high school girl (don't get any stupid ideas) and extremely sarcastic.  Somehow, after a little casual banter, I made a comment about writing everyday after work and how living alone is a big help in that department since my distractions are pretty limited.  

Then she said it:

"You'll find a girl someday and won't have to live alone anymore."

Hey,  I cannot blame her for saying that, because for most people (admittedly or not) that is the standard practice of life, and I have no problem with her saying so - but it is not where I am right now.  The truth is, I do not "have" to live alone by any means and if I wanted a girlfriend, scrounging one up probably would not be all that difficult because there are heaps of women out there desperate enough to date me (joke) and we could collectively make our lives miserable after rushing into something (not a joke).

Me?  

I am not into the whole "Every waking hour." concept at the moment.  What I mean by this is the need to have someone latched onto me at all times, which is what seriously threw me off in the beginning of my last relationship.  She wanted to see me everyday after work and also weekends, which is fine if you both are into the idea, and I always thought I would be; but no.  I spent quite a few years wanting exactly what I had going on at the time, but when it was finally standing in front of me, I became more and more indifferent about what was happening.  This had nothing to do with me not caring or wanting to be around her at all or do fun and interesting things, but had everything to do with not having much space to just be me and do my own thing.  Time together is great, do not get me wrong on that front, but going from being pretty content and solitary in my ways to immediately flipping a switch, throwing me into a world I thought I wanted but did not was rather shocking and disconcerting.  This worked for a month or so, because I assumed it to be normal, but after a while things started to fall apart for many reasons, one of which was that I did not need to be around her continually.

When she neglected her friends, I told her to go see them and not have me tag along every time.  Girls night?  Go for it.  An event I was not very interested in?  I would go if she wanted me to, but I was just fine with her taking someone else who would enjoy said event a bit more.  Again, none of that was because I did not care and none of that is saying I did not want to see her - however, I did not want to see her all the time - we were not at that point.  

The truth is, she and I were not meant to be together for more reasons than me not wanting to be attached to her arm continually, but the idea was a contributor.  She, like so many other people out there, sought out the type of person who relished in the manufactured jealousy of her companion, which showed me her confidence needed moments like that to stay in check - that was not me.

What I mean by "manufactured jealousy" is how in the beginning, she would not hang around other guys without me and when she finally did, expected me to take issue with it.  Had they done anything questionable to her, I would have handled the situation, but who am I to say who she could or could not be around? 

She hated every bit of that because, apparently, if I did not get emotionally charged when she talked to another guy, I was not doing my job or serving my purpose; which makes no sense to me at all.

Again, we broke things off for many more reasons than the "Every waking hour." factor but because of this, she became more distant on her own over time and spent more of her free hours with others to spite me, but that was the beginning of the end anyway and people are free to live their own lives.  There were much bigger issues happening between us, though my lack of such a typical trait probably aided in the momentum of a few of those issues.

Did I cry when it ended?  Nope.  I saw it coming with a running start.  Actually, we never even fought about anything at all until over a month after we broke up and the only reason that hilarity came to be was because I refused to communicate with her.  She was pretty determined and worked her way under my skin enough that I countered her anger once and have not spoken to her since, though she has tried twice from that day to make amends and be "friends".  No thank you.  I do not care for the drama which would inevitably come around had I accepted the offer.
Attempting to have a tainted friendship is never worth wasting time upon - trust me.

My vow to erase drama works both ways with me and I have more than one witness I can use to back up the fact that I do exactly what I am about to tell you.  Use any of this as a point of reference, because I am not giving advice, but this is something I came up with which works for me.

I have business cards for my blog and they look like this:

The blurry part is my phone number that I smudged because I do not want it plastered on the internet. 

Considering most people seem fairly non-repulsive at first introduction, handing them a card to check out my blog is no big deal - with one exception:  boyfriends and husbands.  

The very first person I gave one of those cards to was a young woman who works at the same restaurant I mentioned before.  She is in her twenties, very attractive, and that day was the first time we had ever met.  We talked as I ate dinner and she at one point mentioned her boyfriend she had been with for a while.  I wanted her to read my blog since she seemed interested enough, but before handing her a card, I said:

"I'm going to give you this, but just so it doesn't seem weird, I'm going to do something to it first."

I then took out my pen and scribbled over my phone number before handing it to her.  This showed her that I was not at all trying to pick her up, nor trying to cause any sort of drama with her boyfriend, should he somehow happen to run across my card (that crap unnecessarily follows me around like the plague anyways).  This is a small step I take to stay out of places I should not be.
Drama sucks.  Having someone hate me for no reason does not bother me, but why allow something so stupid to happen if you can easily avoid it?

    

What the heck does all of this mean?  

"You probably want to be alone for the rest of your life, Drew."

That is not true, because being alone can get pretty boring.  I just tend not to follow the same ideals as most whom I come across, which keeps me happy and away from the variety of complicated stress I would rather not deal with.  

"But you make it more complicated, by not compromising."

Let me tell you something, the shit stank long before I stepped in it.  

Games are something I have sworn off in any degree and have no desire to revert to.  Just as I have written about over a very large span of time and practiced in my own reality, life should be simplified in the ways we are able to control it - for me, that means letting go of the silly little instances involved in our mating practices (sounds weird when you use that term, huh?) and just being real with everything while still having fun and growing.

Realistically, I have a huge compassion for people who put value in life and if you are important to me, this holds even more true.  I do like the closeness of being with someone and I do like the feeling of being important to that person as well as them being important to me, but at the end of the day, we allow silly "obligations", expectations, and intentions to plague our relationships far too often for my liking.  If you thrive on the mushy-squishy, public displays of affection, jealousy, and identification, that is fine and I wish you the most success in your bond with whomever meshes with you solidly - be yourself.

That is not me though.

At least not now.

People define comfort and security in different and unique ways.

I am not afraid of relationships - I just want one that matters.

I am not afraid of marriage - I just want security and no pressure.

I am not afraid of love - But it takes work and time to love someone because it is not easy.

Beauty is a different concept for everyone, but if you find beauty in someone, tell them with no intentions nor expectations.  

Respect creates honor, and in honor we find happiness.

Do not define your relationship.  Live it together instead - not like everyone else.

Grace and Peace,
-Drew

 -Add me.  Stalk me.  Tweet me.  I really don't mind.-
Personal Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drew.silvers
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Email:  drewcoustic@gmail.com
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Looking Like An Idiot - And Motorcycles...

I do not believe in living a life of regrets, because I would rather learn from experience instead of being told what to do.  The truth is, however, every day I step outside into nice weather and have the clean air fill my lungs, I feel the urge to hit myself in the head with something hard for selling my motorcycle.  My uncle was nearly killed on his Harley by a drunk driver over fifty years ago, and has lifelong injuries because of that night, but ever since I was a kid, these two-wheeled machines have fascinated me.  When I was nineteen, I restored my first motorcycle, and bought the one in the picture above when I was twenty-three.  Even though it was in brand new condition, hours and hours of my time went into working on that bike.  I built a custom exhaust from scratch, designed a very intricate illumination system for it, and I also learned the joys of carving into a curve at a steep enough angle that your foot pegs drag the asphalt and leave a lovely trail of sparks following you at night.  Those years were spent enjoying a dangerous freedom you cannot readily put into words.  There is one thing you are generally not told about riding a motorcycle until you experience it for yourself though, and that is where I will begin this blog - we riders call it "target fixation".

When I hear someone talk about "commitment" or being "committed" to some form of noun, I often wonder what their definition of those terms actually is.  Truth be told, I have seen far too many people in my life (including myself, on occasion) say they are going to do something, get all excited about their decision and then all but abandon the idea for no apparent reason other than a momentarily heightened emotion wearing off .  

Let me get one thing straight here because I am not about to go off on a tangent about people who give their goals or decisions to do things an honest try before coming to the realization of such choices not being a good idea for them.  I tried vlogging for about two weeks and realized it was not for me, I also took a shot at learning to play drums, and I even built a full-fledged race car for road racing in my garage with a few of my buddies one summer:

That's me in the fire suit and helmet, getting belted in.

Yet, with every single one of those things, I did give them a solid try and eventually decided doing so was not the best path for me to take for whatever logical reason came to be.  

The problem I have is the other side of the actual issue at hand of which I have also been a guilty party - saying you are going to do something and then making a half-assed, half-hearted attempt about giving any sort of motivating push to yourself as a way to accomplish exactly what you claimed you were going to do.  Hey, I have done exactly what I just described in the past, but with that, I realized there must be a time of maturity when we wake up, pay attention and realize 

"I am too mature to act like such a child."

What I am talking about is our definition of "commitment" and the direction we must take in order to stay committed to the things we speak so highly of.  I am pretty sure all of us have not followed through with something at some point in our lives, but with age and experience in the world we either become mature enough to stick with our commitments, or childish enough to stay in the past, making empty promises or talking about big things that we cannot back up.  

Why is this important and what does age have to do with anything?

Simple.  A developing mind is easily intrigued by many things and takes the exploratory actions we need to figure out exactly who we should be in life and in what capacity.  Time has everything to do with this action, because if not, all of these child-prodigy musicians constantly shown in the media would stick with their music skills for life, but truthfully, most of them divest into other interests and find other things they are skilled with doing as they enter into adulthood - which is fantastic and what we are supposed to do, because being good at something does not always mean it should be your career path.  The big problem lies within some of our minds who refuse to grow out of the phrases:
"I am trying to figure it out."

or

"One day, 'XYZ' will happen."

However, so many of us "say" we are doing great things, "say" we are going places, "say" we are making moves in our lives, but when it comes down to relevancy, we are sitting around with a lack of ambition, sometimes riding the wave of life on someone else's paycheck, and doing nothing but talking about the greatness that lies before us...and then we get closer to thirty years old, and before you know it...half of your life is gone.  Um, whoops?

Forgive me if I am wrong with any of this, but all I am saying is that making empty promises or saying you are going to make progress in your life, or help others in any capacity without proving yourself as well as your commitments prevents anyone from taking you seriously.  The thing is, if we are ever going to get anywhere in life, we have to take a hard plunge into whatever foray we commit to.  My good friend, Will, wrote some lyrics a few years ago that fit into this idea very well:

"If I fail, well then I failed - but at least I gave you something."

Exactly.  There are few things which make my skin crawl quite as profusely as seeing someone around my age who makes claims about what they want or are "trying" to do but cannot back up with tangible actions.  Chase something in every way you can if you say you are committed, because as far as I can tell, "committed" is actually defined as:

"Feeling dedication and loyalty to a cause, activity, or job; wholeheartedly dedicated." source

If you are unwilling to put forth those attributes to your cause, please keep your mouth shut so you prevent getting people's hopes up.

What does any of this have to do with motorcycles?  Let me explain.

When you first begin the process of learning to ride a motorcycle on the street (which is entirely different from riding in the dirt - trust me) there are certain situations you learn about control through nothing but real-world experience; one of those is "target fixation".  While riding a motorcycle, your mind must think about every move you are going to make in the future and anticipate your next action down to the millisecond because every bit of physics on earth is trying to get that bike to lay down on its side rather than stay up on two wheels.  When you approach a curve, at speed, you must look into said curve in order to anticipate where you will be within the next few seconds, the position your body must be in to make that turn, your natural intuition of how far you must lean over to make that happen, so forth and so-on.  But, if there is something else within that approaching curve which catches your attention (approaching car, tree, road sign, etc) your mind will fixate upon that object and you will no longer make the necessary actions to get around the curve, but head straight into the object you are staring at.  

Every time.  

It happens to every rider in the beginning.  My friend ran his brand new Harley-Davidson into a tree the same day he bought it, brand new, because of target-fixation.  True story.

My point is, our commitments have much in common with the idea of target-fixation on a motorcycle.  We can either commit to something and focus to be sure we honor those commitments while making an effort to get to where we said we were going, or get distracted and uncommitted to our original plan - fixating on something else instead and ending up somewhere we do not need to be.  

Much like running into a tree on a motorcycle.

The point is, at this age?

At this level of maturity?

Stick with your commitments or shut up.

If you say you are going to do something, give it all you have and learn from the experience - if it does not work, you still gave it all you had.

At some point, we all need to grow up and realize life is not fiction, and intentions get us nowhere.

Actions make progress, but every action has a window of time.

Commit. 

Grace and Peace,
-Drew

 -Add me.  Stalk me.  Tweet me.  I really don't mind.-
Personal Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drew.silvers
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Ten Things I Have Learned As A Guy With Long Hair...

Earlier today, at work, I started thinking about my hair journey over the past year.  What I mean by "hair journey" is that it has been just about a year since I have cut it.  Being a twenty-something male with longer than average hair has taught me a few things and opened my eyes to a few more.  

This conversation with my friend happened earlier today.  

Read it:

If you are wondering just how long my hair is at the moment, this is all you get:

Yes, those are my bangs.  Again, I hate "selfies" so much that I will not even compromise for this blog.

With that, here are the top ten things I have come to realize as an adult male with long hair.

1.  As far as business is concerned, you must be a bit more on-point and force your intelligence on anyone within that realm of your life, especially older generations.  They have a tendency to not take you quite as seriously if you are a man with long hair.  The caveat to confronting this potential block is how well you can sneak in the fact that you are growing your hair for Locks of Love (which is why I am doing it).  I have not had a single person fault me in the least bit for my hair being the way it is after they understand the charity behind it; and most want to know more about the organization.

2.  You get better natural highlights and low lights from the sun when your hair is longer.  Though you cannot tell from the picture above, my hair is pretty dynamic concerning color and changes from nearly a light brown in the winter to a lightly bleached blonde in the summer months.  The longer my hair has become, the more defined the colors.  The weird thing about my hair color is how I come from a family of either jet-black or dark brown hair on both sides of my family, but am somehow, very much blonde.  Maybe that also has something to do with every member of my family having shoddy vision, yet I somehow came out 20/15?  Genetics are weird.

3.  Women flirt with me much more often.  I cannot say that my hair is the biggest contributing factor to this, because at the same time I started growing my hair out, I was also pretty overweight and have lost about eighty pounds total since then - which means I am back to normal.  That is not arrogance on my part, but is purely something I have noticed.

4.  Men also flirt with me much more often.  Now, I am not gay, but I will be honest and say that the flirting does not bother me - but I also do not return it.  From what I understand, most gay men are well aware if another man is straight or not right off the bat, so I know it's harmless.  The last time I experienced this until recently was many years ago when I was a college student, working full-time as a server in a restaurant, and had this look going on:

I mean, come on...Can you blame anyone for wanting to flirt with me back then?  Kidding.  But I had a plateau of no men flirting with me for a few years after I stopped dressing like a rockstar and was no longer thirty-pounds underweight.

5.  Long hair is hot.  I mean, really hot.  Any woman (or man) who has hair longer than mine has my applause for putting up with such a thing during the summer months, especially in the south.  If you do anything sweaty, it just feels gross - unless you put it up. Which brings us to...

6.  Ponytails suck.  Hard.  Really hard.  My hair is long enough to be in a pony tail, but there was about a month's time when I was in the weird place of being able to put it into a hair-tie, but anytime I leaned my head forward, half of the hair would pull out of said hair-tie.  Since then, I can now pull it back and rock the ponytail, but I will not do it in public, because I look really freaking stupid.  Sidenote:  I bought hair-ties at the drug store and it felt really weird...

7.  You have to be much more particular about the shampoo you use when your hair is long.  When your hair is below two inches long, you can wash it with anything that does not do weird things to your scalp and be just fine, but if it is long?  No way.  I tried baby shampoo last week with the thought it would make my hair soft and fluffy, nope!  My hair was the biggest tangled mess you have ever seen and trying to comb it out made me feel as if I was being scalped, which brings us to...

8.  Long hair affords you the knowledge of every single time a hair falls out of your head.  Why?  Because they are freaking long and end up in your mouth, your eyeball, down your collar, in your car, on your pillow, everywhere.  You see, when you have short hair, it has a tendency to just blow away or fall into oblivion, but after you clear about five inches of length, every hair that falls out either wants you to swallow it or tries to tie itself around something.  (For the record, I also do not have a baldness gene, and my hair does not fall out all that often, but I am aware when it does so now).

9.  It picks up smells.  Just like clothing, long hair absorbs the surrounding aromas.  If someone is smoking next to you, it sticks in your hair.  So does campfire smoke, food odors, car exhaust, sawdust, and even pollen residue.  I know it is recommended to not wash your hair everyday because of essential, natural oils and such, but there is no way to avoid a cleaning if you are around anything unpleasantly aromatic.

10.  Hair takes longer than I imagined to grow to a certain length.  As I said before, I am now nearly at the year mark of growing mine out and the longer it gets, the seemingly slower it tends to grow.  I am at a little over ten inches now and Locks of Love requires that much length to take as a donation, but I will not walk around bald by choice.  I need at least two more inches before donating it, but with each little annoyance, my logic tends to wane a little bit more...

I hope you enjoyed this post and maybe laughed a little.

I need a haircut...

Grace and Peace,

-Drew

 -Add me.  Stalk me.  Tweet me.  I really don't mind.-

Personal Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drew.silvers
Blog Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drewcoustic
Email:  drewcoustic@gmail.com
Twitter:  @JDrewSilvers
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3055 And Purpose...

Click the "Play" button and begin reading at a normal pace.

I wrote this in a certain way and if you're on a smart phone, I would suggest reading this blog on a tablet or computer so you can have the music in the background.

Sometimes we do not take the time to understand purpose - that which we have within our own lives and that of those who surround us.  I lived in a fairly out of touch place for far too many years of my life where I was liable for believing what other people told me instead of figuring out the world on my own.  During all of this I would not venture to say I was enabled by anyone, but had lost sight of the perfect view given to me without asking, and in that became a follower of others as opposed to a leader of my own life.

 I see people much like the person I was before in enough regularity to be able to solemnly say in my head "I get it, and something is wrong, but I cannot help you."  During the same instances, I also see those who spend far too much time telling lies to themselves about their so-called progress in life and the direction in which they are heading themselves.  Just as I say I never allowed myself to be enabled, there are those who do allow it to happen.  Telling yourself a lie about your priorities and whatever moves you are making becomes more and more believable in your own mind with enough repetition.  These are unfortunate circumstances in our motivation and personal worth because we do not take enough time, nor care quite enough to step outside of our mindset and evaluate the only person we can control in our own lives - ourselves. 

I lived the lie for years and told myself things that were not true about the direction I was heading and also my own expectations.  There were moments when I was convinced going anywhere farther in life was not possible for me and happiness was nothing I was worthy of deserving.  Nothing I had done up to that moment constituted greatness and those smaller instances I held as significant became further from my reach with each passing day.  Taking the potential given to me in order to do something great was a push I had lost, yet I was convinced I still had in my possession.  

Until I woke up.

Until I made a change.

We cannot change for anyone and we cannot make anyone change for us.  Life is not long enough for us to slack in motivation or only be motivated by the draw of someone else.  Years upon years I was told that doing for myself was selfish - that pushing people to change for the better was my purpose.
Who am I to force my opinion on someone else?  

Who am I to change my own opinion for someone else?

Instead of changing ourselves for the sake of other people or entities in our lives, we have to regroup and get into the mindset of changing for ourselves and nobody else.  If we change for someone else, whether for chemical, relational, or cognitive reasons, the ensuing failure is eminent or the lie we live is solidified as permanent.

I have no desire to be stuck anymore.

If we are exactly who we need to be and have no reason to change, we can only push to grow bigger and force ourselves to waste no time in achieving personal greatness.  Those we care about and those who care about us will never leave our side or pass judgment; for any reason. Reaching for the passions and goals we honestly love means there is never a moment of saying we do not have time or energy to push for them.

Commitment.  Should.  Always.  Win.

Those who matter to us will find their way to us.
Anyone we need in our lives, we can also find - without expectation, rules, or pretenses.
The people who matter to each other will always find each other.    

Just because you think for yourself does not mean you are selfish.

You can only grow within your own skin.
Grow.
Be yourself.
Share your true self with others.
Be fulfilled - always.

Grace and Peace,

-Drew

-Add me.  Stalk me.  Tweet me.  I really don't mind.-

Personal Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drew.silvers

Blog Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drewcoustic

Email:  drewcoustic@gmail.com

Twitter:  @JDrewSilvers

Instagram:  http://www.instagram.com/jdrewsilvers

-The song used in this blog was introduced to me by my best friend.  Thank you for your inspiration every day.

It's So Simple To Be Afraid...

Hey, guys, Target put their seasonal wine and beer at the end of three adjacent aisles of Halloween candy...Great idea...

I have noticed a trend within my time on this earth, actually, no, I embodied the trend for most of my life and just began paying attention to it about two years ago.  What I am referring to is questions and the way we go about asking them, as well as how those who are questioned tend to react.  Straightforward, right?  

Not so much as you may think...

Have you ever noticed how the most difficult thing to do when writing something formal or semi-formal is putting down the first few words?  I struggle with this every time I write a blog, and now since I am compiling these blogs into a book, I fight the issue when beginning every new chapter.  We tend to pay the most attention to the introductory words of the text we pen down because everything else trailing after that depends upon it.  When considering myself, I do the same when hearing a new song because if the first few bars contain anything related to "gold teeth, rims, bitches, or money" I have heard enough already and do not care to continue in most cases.  What does this have to do with questioning?  Hang on, I am getting there.

We have all been in a position of needing to say something to someone else that we really did not want to.  Anyone who has ever run a business before knows this has a tendency to happen much more often than in our personal lives.  Actually, I take that back because if you surround yourself with dramatic people who continually act like pre-pubescent minors, this could also happen in your daily life, but stick with me.  As has happened to me far too many times, I have taken the plunge into difficult situations by going about them entirely wrong and just throwing my side out there without listening to the other party at the same time.  Have you ever wondered why arguments generally get nowhere?  Much of it has to do with two or more people trying to talk over each other - that never works, and I lived there for a long time, but what can we do about that?

Thinking back to when we were in elementary school, there were three types of kids in class:

-The kid who never asked questions.

-The kid who only asked questions when she/he needed to.

-The kid who asked so many questions you wanted to beat him to death with your Trapper Keeper.

(I'm showing my age now. Rise up, 90's kids...)

Even though we all grew up as a kid with one of those attributes that most of us carried into adulthood, our teachers always told us to never be afraid to ask a question if we needed to do so.  I heard this from preschool and all the way into college, but the thing is, as I said before, most of us have retained the same trait we identified with as children until this very day as far as questions are concerned.

My point is, regardless of which kid we were in school, so many of us are so quick to jump into an important situation with the idea that we will be the only one holding a voice.  

How often has that one worked out for you, Sparky?

Through all of the latter, we end up running within a mess of a circle where nobody knows what is going on and no progress or resolution has been reached.  What I have figured out, however, is that approaching someone with a well-rounded and non-invasive question to get the ball rolling, generally gets us to a good starting point.

But:

-The kid who never asked questions will be afraid to.

-The kid who asked questions when appropriate often over-thinks the situation.

-The kid you wanted to beat to death screwed up the situation long before reaching that point.

Breaking out of whatever of the three question-oriented mindsets we evolved into is the key in honing our approach skills.  A well-rounded question can begin any conversation, whether good, bad, or full of uncertainty in a much more effective way than jumping right into the relationship circle of death.  Yet, so many of us are afraid to do even that and charge in without intending to listen anyway.

Sure, there are the unreasonable, mentally-inept pillocks out there who respond to nothing with any sense of understanding, but I have found them to be a distinct minority.  Most people like to be asked an appropriate question because then they are engaged and contributing to whatever issue or event you are making an attempt at discussing.  One-sided approaches never work, but finding an expressive compromise between two people or bodies of people can make the process much less complicated, as well as much less likely to have someone talking over another person.

Actions are threatening,

Ignoring an issue is damaging.

Thought-provoking questions are just as described. 

But thinking about the kid who asked questions just to hear his own voice still gets under my skin...

Grace and Peace,
-Drew

-Add me.  Stalk me.  Tweet me.  I really don't mind.-
Personal Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drew.silvers
Blog Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drewcoustic
Email:  drewcoustic@gmail.com
Twitter:  @JDrewSilvers
Instagram:  http://www.instagram.com/jdrewsilvers

The lyrics in the title of this blog came from this song:

My Name Is Drew, And I Don't Watch TV Anymore...

My 32" HDTV is now the external monitor for my laptop.  That's all it does.

Hello, my name is Drew, I am twenty-seven years old, and I do not watch television anymore - well, for the most part I do not, anyway.  This was not always the case for me, however.

When I was a kid, my family had enough money to live a good life, but we were not wealthy by any means, so an expense such as cable TV was not really an option.  The only time I was able to watch Nickelodeon or anything else consisted of being at friend's houses, which was not something I did all that often because my best friend growing up liked coming to my house much better.  Not having anything beyond a few local channels never bothered me because my friend and I spent every summer day and most afternoons during the school year from middle school until our sophomore year of high school outside.  We built all sorts of things from a greenhouse, to rabbit traps, to a fifteen-foot tall trebuchet which could throw a tennis ball about two acres with enough weights in the pendulum.  Needless to say, not having a bunch of channels to scan on my TV never bothered me because I was too busy creating things.  

By age fifteen, I was working on my first car

which had been sitting in a barn for over a decade and occupied every hour of free daylight I had until I received my license, exactly one day after my sixteenth birthday.  I say "free daylight" because my first real job came at the age of fifteen and meant I was also working three to four days each week after school, so I could earn money to put into my car.  My nights were spent in my room, alone, playing my new Stratocaster guitar, which is something I picked up at the age of fifteen.  By age sixteen, I was playing music in front of church congregations in various capacities, at a church camp every year, and I stuck with that pattern until I was twenty years old or so, going out of the country to do it at one point.  Many weekends were spent volunteering, but usually working because I never had the option of not working. Television never really fit into my life in a big capacity, nor did video games because I kept myself fairly busy as a teenager.

After I graduated from high school, my parents finally began a satellite subscription and I started watching TV after work or as a way to fall asleep, but I could not tell you any show I had an investment in besides "Laguna Beach" which I watched at my friend's house every Monday night (my best friends were girls at the time).  

When I moved out of my parents' house, the first thing I did was sign onto DirecTV for a two-year commitment and became sort of a lazy television addict.  I also drank back then and alcohol makes me about as energetic as a koala, so thus was my silly logic when I would get home from work.  I was also in college then, while working a full-time job that entire time, so the easiest thing for me to do was plop down after class or work and watch something brainless for a few hours.  Awesome.  My waistline reflected this stupid cycle I had allowed myself to fall into, and coupled with other life events I eventually decided to make a change about a year ago.

When I became more focused on my health, entirely sober, and leading an immensely more active lifestyle, I realized watching TV was what I did right before I went to bed and fell asleep to.  Nothing more.  The Walking Dead was boring, Teen Wolf always sucked, I never in my life cared to watch the news, and I did not have any movie channels, so I was paying eighty dollars each month for a talking night light.  I signed up for Hulu Plus on my computer and ditched DirecTV entirely.  Not a single day has gone by when I have said "Man, I really wish I had TV right now."

Actually, I decided to write this blog about not having television anymore because I am cancelling my eight-dollar monthly Hulu Plus subscription tomorrow on the grounds of having not watched a single show on it in over a month.  I have one TV in my house right now and it is an old CRT (tube) model in my garage hooked to a digital converter antenna so I can watch it during tornado warnings and such.  Other than that, I never turn it on.  

People have asked what the heck I do at my age without TV or video games. 

Pretty much anything else I want to do after work everyday.  I am a writer, of course, and while I do not claim to be a great writer by any means, this is where I escape.  I subscribe to a few channels on YouTube that I spend about half an hour total watching everyday.  At this point I am better at playing guitar than I was during my "prime" of ages eighteen to twenty.  I try to spend as much time outdoors as I can, usually with some sort of soundtrack playing through my earbuds, whether just walking around, running, working on a project, or anything that involves moving around, really.  I cannot even talk on the phone while sitting still anymore.  

Had you told me I would be living without television three years ago, I would not have believed you, but for me, personally, I am so happy I do not have it anymore.  Do not get me wrong though, because I am in no way against watching shows on TV.  If you really like that, go right ahead.  I will watch pretty much any TV show if I am at a friend's house, because I do enjoy it when I am with someone else in the same way that I will only really watch a movie under the same pretense.  

What about sports?

Honestly, I understand sports, and I can get into them, but as far as following teams or knowing stats, that is not me.  Sports are something I like watching with other people or seeing in-person at a stadium or arena, not something I do alone.  I do follow the leaderboard for The Masters every year from my iPhone, but that is the limit of my solo involvement in sports.  Other guys have told me watching sports is part of "being a dude" but those same men who say these things generally take their car to the dealership when a tail light bulb burns out, so I think I am missing the logic of their statement - if we are playing the stereotype game.  

So, why do I not watch TV?

I have found other things to do which make me happier and healthier.  If TV is not a vice for you, keep watching and playing video games, by all means.  For me, cutting television out of my daily life helped me get sober, become nearly eighty pounds lighter, and brought me back to having a personal devotion to my passions of writing and music.  

Simple.

Ditching television helped me get back to the better, more focused me.

Grace and Peace,

-Drew

-Add me.  Stalk me.  Tweet me.  I really don't mind.-
Personal Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drew.silvers
Blog Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/drewcoustic
Email:  drewcoustic@gmail.com
Twitter:  @JDrewSilvers
Instagram:  http://www.instagram.com/jdrewsilvers

I'm listening to this song right now:  (Don't hate)